I look for you sometimes, you're only one click away.
It feels comforting to know I can see you without showing up, even if I miss you.
I've done all within my power to forget and I know you think I have, it's just that I do have moments when I still feel your long lost touch, hear you voice, am human.
My friend told me you're still there and easy to find but by the time I have you took your picture off so all I have of yours that I can see is just your name.
Though I have spoken from above and cut off the link between us, I was hurt, I've always missed you.
I simply wish sometimes I could still talk to you but the truth is, I can't.

to be or not to be...

The night unfolding mysteries
is in its early hours.
There's time to think it over,
I wish I had the luxury of
perhaps...

Let go ...

What do you do when discovering your friend who goes back so many years has gotten lost in triviality when you expect her to keep up, but she  most certainly does not have anything to say, surviving a bored existence. The conversation killed. She'd gladly go for the kill attacking your weakness but will have no idea of her actions. It's all rather subconscious. One last attempt to keep her dignity when I watch in speechless shock the shameful display  of stupidity taking over her only too swiftly. It’s  painful to watch a predator turn prey. It’s easier to just take out her jugular, then letting her suffer in shame. But there is the integrity that simply keeps you off and lets the bovine go...

It's painful watching yet another feline die. Losing an old friendship is agony.

Is this a distant memroy

Why would one be so inlove with winter...

Just for me

Followed a blog for over a year until it's been made into a book then has gone all commercial PR and lost all its value. Truth being told, I needed it when I came across it by accident and at that time it was amazing. Hey even gave me the idea to start my own.
I couldn't face people, it was too much after being exposed to a trauma. All I wanted at that time was to recover. Was going through a tormenting time. Tried so many things to get back into the real world but none of them were working when creation has hit back.
The longing for beauty was silently unfolding mysteries and I was not afraid of conveying my ideas anymore. For the first time I had courage. Nothing had anything to do with the world. It was all about me, my own universe, my own values and how have I been arranging them. After it has all collapsed like a sand castle I was facing the challenge of putting it back into place. But was that its place to begin with? Did it really belong into that position. So I shut everyone out and slowly started to puzzle the pieces of me together.
Once crying over a touching film, now I could not feel and would not understand feelings. For me feelings have become just a difficult hassle over a big empty space. And I could see no sense in anything they stood for.
Logic on the other hand, was beautiful. The lean unshadowed thinking was proving wonderful and I could make decisions easily without having to take "others" into consideration.
At the same time I had no consideration for people who in my mind were proving to be common. I would just retrieve quietly with no comments or remarks. Although I did not have them, I was very aware I was the only one and had to respect other people's choice, so I did.
Although the feelings were escaping me, poetry seemed to just want to be my soul mate, so I started putting it down and it went onto this blog that later has removed all posts, thus my poems being lost forever. I now have no proof even to myself that I did write. It’s just been stripped off. In time my state of mind was changing and I did not find much inspirattion. Then one day I started this blog. Just for me.

I used to draw once

It's not as if I had any talent, just liked to put things on a piece of paper when feeling like it.

One day I was having a heart to heart with my friend and showed him my drawings.

He looked them over then turned and said: “you are so lonely!".

Not understanding what gave him the idea I asked why. 

The answer was: "your drawings have not even a clue of human presence".